Episode One
Shhh … The Elves Are Up to Something Big!
We’ve just had our daily update from the North Pole and something extremely exciting is happening …
It all started with an Urgent Announcement in the North Pole Star Newspaper saying that the Elves’ Monthly M.O.T. (Magical Or Tedious) was going to happen a week earlier than usual. Every machine in the Village, from the North Pole Garden in the north-west, right down to Christmas Cabin and the Cinnamon Mine in the south-east, was being checked. Even Father Christmas had to have his Button Polisher serviced. Eric – the Maintenance Monitor – was visiting every department with a Very Large Clipboard, checking things off with a Big Green Tick …
Automatic Pickers for the Stocking Bottom Trees (North Pole Garden):
- harvesting chocolate coins, walnuts and tangerines in the allotted time
Sparkles and Sequin System (Pine Needle Lodge):
– sewing Kindness into every stitch of the Christmas Eve Uniforms
Dried-Reindeer-Poo-Powered Tumble Dryers (Soap-Sud Cabin):
– magically pairing up all our odd socks
So far so good. But when he arrived at the Elves’ Workshop, it all started to go downhill faster than a Supercharged Sledge! Everyone was desperate to get a glimpse of what he was writing, craning their necks to see if their work had passed the test, when suddenly …
Jenny knocked a large pot of glue off a workbench, pouring it all over his shoes;
a bushy collection of Fake Moustaches tipped over his head so he couldn’t see;
the dial of the Iron-on Glitter Machine got stuck on Extra-Shimmery and his beard got caught up in one of the rollers! Thank goodness Dani was there to stop it with his Tip-Top Toolkit, before things got too flat or too flashy!
But, the worst news was still to come …
Gerald at Mistletoe Stores tried using his branch of the Magical Wind Machine to send Mother Christmas some urgently needed Candy Canes for her Peppermint Bark recipe and now it’s got a Code Purple on the screen! Predictions for this year’s orders are bigger than ever and we won’t be able to send anything at all unless it’s fixed ASAP (As Sparkly As Possible)!
Lily’s called one of her Emergency Pyjama Meeting tonight to discuss what to do. As soon as I hear anything, I’ll let you all know …
Episode Two
Blueprints, Plans and a Dash of Magic!
As soon as Lily’s Emergency Pyjama Meeting finished (at precisely two minutes before Crumpet Time on Tuesday), the North Pole Village started to buzz with activity! Bert in the Printing Room rushed over to the Delivery Shed to collect a special delivery of some giant sheets of North Pole Paper, a selection of inks and a set of multicoloured pens, while Father Christmas and Stan – Chief Miner in the Cinnamon Mine – prepared an Out-of-the-Ordinary-Batch of Magic Dust. (This really was most peculiar! Elves usually mix Magic Dust on their Stir-Up Sunday – the second Sunday in December – to make sure it’s completely fresh and ready for sprinkling on the Reindeer so they can fly during the Big Delivery on Christmas Eve!)
Then, yesterday morning (even before her Everso-Early Alarm had jingled!) Lyra – the computer whizz – jumped out of bed with her Laplandic Laptop, grabbed a North Pole Breakfast “to go” and dashed over to the Elves’ Workshop to meet Dani. As soon as they’d collected their supplies from Bert, they began writing. According to Lily, they spent hours working out some very serious-looking calculations and drawing hundreds of extremely complicated designs, before Lyra yelled out that they had a plan! …
Apparently, they’ve decided to reprogramme the Magical Wind Machine so it can fill hundreds of outgoing mail sacks every day. Then, all they have to do is build it and sprinkle every delivery with Magic Dust! It’s all very exciting!
In other news, Winifred – our new Eco-Friendly Elf – has been scanning all the Personalised Christmas Letters, Magical Books and North Pole Newspapers with her brand new Eeek-Oh!-Meter. It measures how kind all the International Elf Service products are to our planet. Although the current reading is “Very Eco-Friendly!”, all the Elves agree with her that it could be even better. So … from now on and wherever possible, we’ll take out the woodshavings (even though they’re all pine and spruce excess from managed forests) and reduce all packaging to add even more Magical Kindness to each delivery. Tune in on Sunday to find out how we’re getting on …
Episode Three
Testing, Testing … Are You Ready for Magic?
I have exciting news! Winifred says the Eeek-Oh!-Meter is now reading “As Kind as Father Christmas!” which is totally fabulous. And during today’s first test run of the Magical Wind Machine, the Letter and Newspaper Output Gauge was showing “A Huge Number That’s Getting Bigger Every Day!”. It looks like we’ll reach Christmas Eve Speed just in time to send out the first orders on the 12th! To make absolutely sure, Dani’s going to install a stronger pulley, lengthen the levers, and increase the size of the Big Red Button to improve the machinery. And Lyra’s asked a team of 99 Extra-Tiny Elves (who usually shine up the sequins) to add a gazillion microbuttons, switches, pins and chips to update the Christmassy Coding.
I should also tell you that Marty – who calls himself the Brilliantest Inventor in the North Pole (he isn’t!) – also tried to come up with his own “better” idea for updating the Magical Wind Machine. But when the goo from his half-eaten lollipop got stuck in the spinner, everything overheated – including Marty himself! Luckily, Marge – their Sticky Situations Officer – sorted the problem immediately with some of Father Christmas’ Quick Release Anti-Stick Spray (for chimneys with tight squeezes). And when she suggested pouring some Hot Chocolate over the cogs, everything started running really smoothly. The only problem now is that the gears make such a soothing sound that the Mailing Elves are working really slowly! J.D. – Emergencies Elf – has had to give them a few teaspoons of her Raspberry Ripple Elf-Recovery Remedy every hour, just to keep them moving!
The Elves have asked me to ask you if, when your order arrives, you could please take a photo and tag International Elf Service so we can report back that everything is working properly. Thank you so much!
Newsflash: I’ve just been told that the Elves at the Recycling Cabin have been upcycling all the old wrapping paper into these gorgeous little gift bags. It’s been quite a hive of activity, I can tell you. In fact, they all got so over-excited that they caused an unexpected surge of Christmas Spirit through all the machines in the North Pole Village, and now the brand new Candy Cane Cord Untangler is in a terrible knot! I hope they can untie it by the end of the day …
Episode Four
The Countdown Begins!
Things are getting extremely exciting over here at International Elf Service … we’ve started our 3-2-1 Countdown to Launch! It means that in 3 days (including today) we’ll start to send out personalised Christmas Letters, Magical Books and North Pole Newspapers to children (and adults!) all over the world. Now, if you didn’t know it already, the Elves at the North Pole just LOVE a Countdown, so things are Christmas Crazy over there at the moment …
Yesterday, Maude tried to untie the Candy Cane Cord Untangler by connecting it to her Spinning Wheel and pedalling in reverse. But it only made things worse … the twine began unravelling at such a rate, that even the Get-It-Done Elves couldn’t roll it into balls quick enough. It was Lily who came to the rescue.
She holds the North Pole Village Hot Chocolate Record for Stripey Sock Speed Knitting (500 pairs in 53.2 seconds!) and this was the ultimate test. You should have seen her go! The needles were in a total blur, and in less than 5 minutes, everyone in the Recycling Cabin had a new bobble hat, a pair of gloves and an extremely long scarf! She even sent us a set each which makes us all feel most marvellously magical while we’re preparing all your orders.
But most importantly, the reprogramming of the Magical Wind Machine is complete, and the screen is showing exactly how many Personalised Christmas Letters, Magical Books and North Pole Newspapers it can send every day … “An Unimaginably Large Number – Congratulations!” What excellent news. Now the Countdown Celebrations can truly begin!
Oh! A note has just whooshed in to say that everything’s on hold while the Elves look for The Sleigh. According to Hector – Assistant Reindeer Keeper – it went missing right after Marty started to make one of his so-called inventions using a huge collection of fridge magnets …
Episode Five
The Grand Unveiling
I’m extremely pleased to report that the Elves found The Sleigh late last night! As usual it was all caused by Marty and his new invention – a Marvellously Magnetic Get-ALL-the-Candies-in-my-Mouth Machine). He’d decided to build it “Top-Secretly, where no one will find it!” and chose the roof of the Sleigh Shed as his workshop. But his new gadget was far too powerful and it pulled The Sleigh and all its shiny Jingle Bells right up into the ceiling, completely out of sight. Apparently, Jenny was so worried that Christmas would have to be cancelled, she collapsed to the ground and fainted, and it was only when she came round that she looked up and saw it. What a relief! And all just in time for today’s launch for Christmas 2024 …
The day started just before sunrise when all the Christmas Elves and the Reindeer paraded from their various North Pole departments towards the area in front of the Elves’ Workshop. As Father Christmas signalled for them to raise their flags, they held their breaths as the clock counted down to the most magical moment …
5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1
It was time …
According to the oldest Christmas traditions, the Postmaster General signed the Very Special Decree (painfully slowly) to authorise the dispatch of Extremely Important Mail and all things magical from the North Pole. And, as soon as his pen left the paper, the air filled with loud cheers, fanfares and fireworks, and the most wonderful smell of Hot Chocolate with giant Marshmallows, stirred with Elf-approved Candy Canes. Finally, everyone piled into the Elves’ Workshop to get the final status on the Magical Wind Machine …
All the cogs are oiled, the Outgoing-Mail Dials are set to Any-Minute-Now! and the Mail Sledges are ready to transport North Pole Paper and personalised envelopes from the Printing Room to the Mail Room faster than you can say Donner and Blitzen. But even more amazing is the last-minute accessory that Dani’s just installed… he’s called it The Launch Launcher, and it means we can send out even more Personalised Christmas Letters, Magical Books and North Pole Newspapers than ever before!
And so, we’re all delighted to announce that the Official Magical Post Office is finally open for Christmas 2024 and we’re all set and ready to go! All we have to do now is wait to see which children’s names appear on our Extra-Special List in Hot Chocolate-coloured ink. Will yours be there too? …
Episode Six
The Grand Unveiling
SORRY FOR SHOUTING! IT’S RATHER NOISY HERE AT INTERNATIONAL ELF SERVICE! THE ELF EMERGENCY ALARM HAS BEEN RINGING ALL NIGHT! …
Oh! At last! Edward – the North Pole’s resident Elf Engineer – has been trying to switch it off since last night and it seems he’s finally fixed it. The problem started yesterday when a note whooshed out of our branch of the Magical Wind Machine at Supersonic Santa Speed (that’s extremely fast!) to tell us that all the machines in the Mail Room at the Elves’ Workshop had gone into overdrive. Apparently, orders for Personalised Christmas Letters, Magical Books and North Pole Newspapers have gone through the roof (completely blocking the chimney*) and every single Elf in the North Pole Village has been called in to support the Mailing Elves before steam comes out of their ears (not a pretty sight!). We don’t usually get this number of orders until at least November, so all of us here at the Official North Pole Post Office are Totally Thrilled and even more Christmas Crazy than usual!
* To clear it, we needed 55 full cans of Father Christmas’ Quick Release Anti-Stick Spray (which he normally uses to get himself out of tight squeezes after one too many mince pies!). And then, all the orders had to be carefully dried out in the Tumble Dryers in Soap-Sud Cabin (powered by dried Reindeer poo).
But it does mean we’ve been rushed off our feet, and a team of Get-It-Done Elves had to be called in to help us tie that extra-special bow (it takes years of practice!) round the envelope bundles and parcels before adding a very generous sprinkling of magic to every order.
By midnight, it looked like we had everything under control and we could finally take a break, each of us treating ourselves to a large mug of Hot Chocolate and a couple of Mother Christmas’ Extra-Special Melted Snowman Biscuits (or three – they’re so delicious, you simply must try some!). But just as I put my feet up to read the latest edition of the North Pole Star Newspaper, a Code Red, Code Green AND a Code Purple all came in at once (this only happens on very rare occasions!) …
Bert in the Printing Room had pushed the Big Red Button on the Elf Emergency Alarm again because the latest delivery of North Pole Paper didn’t have smooth enough edges. Disaster! It meant that the XXXL Enlarging Device (used to make the teeny Elf letters big enough for your children to read!) got thoroughly jammed and all orders had to stop immediately!
Thankfully, Dave the Stitch and all the Sewing Elves from Pine Needle Lodge came to the rescue with an old pair of scissors each**. They quickly straightened the edges while Brian – the North Pole trainee Chef who always gets into pickles with his words – tried to remove the jam (until Marge – Sticky Situations Officer – explained it wasn’t, in fact, the strawberry-flavoured kind). Lyra has now reset all the machinery to work on Full Steam-Whipped Cream setting (a clever trick she’s also shared with/she got from the Easter Bunny) and we’re now back up to speed again.
** Good to Know: Never ask a Sewing Elf if you can borrow their new scissors to cut paper. They’ll refuse, saying that it blunts the blades, and they have to be extremely precise when making Father Christmas’ Christmas Eve Uniform.
If the children in your life would like to hear from the North Pole, order our magical letters from the Christmas Elves and Father Christmas PLUS Stocking Fillers & Christmassy Trimmings at internationalelfservice.com ✨
