This post about kids and chores has come about from a conversation I had with a neighbour of mine who has children aged 15, 13 and 8. She said she’d just exploded at the whole family as she was sick of clearing up after them: at meal times, the kids and husband just get up and go leaving their plates on the table for her to clear up. Their bedrooms are tips and it’s down to her to clear all the clothes up and put them in the wash and so on. She said that every now and then she gets fed up and yells at them all, which I’m sure we can all relate to?!
We haven’t got round to weekly pocket money yet – ours are 8, 6 and almost 4 but we do offer them 20p, 50p or £1 for ‘out of the ordinary jobs’ that they can opt in or out of doing. Having said that, what chores should they be doing anyway and what should be classed as an opportunity for earning some cash and a chance to learn about the world of financial worth?
I have a fear of producing people whose peers / husbands / wives find them irritating to live with, (coupled with my intense desire to spend less time doing domestic chores), which has resulted in me refusing to do certain things for the kids and hoping the habits stick!
They all know that I refuse to:
- Wash anything that isn’t in the laundry basket, is screwed up into an unwashable ball or the usual pants still in jeans combo…
- Accept clothes being on the floor.
- Hang other people’s coats up.
- Put other people’s shoes away.
- Clear other people’s plates off the table unless they are physically unable to.
- Close drawers and cupboards they’ve left open.
My theory is that it takes more or less equal effort to do all those things than it does to not do them. Perhaps it doesn’t matter if your housemate leaves stuff all over the floor or doesn’t clear up after they’ve eaten. Someone else will either do it for them or they’ll do it eventually right? Probably, but wouldn’t it all just be a more pleasant experience if people did a little bit more for themselves and didn’t leave it up to the fairies?
I’m really interested to know people’s views on kids and chores. Do they do any in your house? From what age and what sort of things do they do? Do they do them in exchange for pocket money or are they just expected as a way of pitching in with the team?
I’d love to hear how you work it in your house and why.
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You may also like to see other parenting posts including:
For Kids That Hate Maths
Potty Training A Child With No Interest
Sensory Processing Disorder: Sensation Seeking & Anti-Social Behaviour
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Such food for thought-my kids clear up, set the table (as best a 2 year old can) and my eldest just 5 has chores to do-vacuuming (which the youngest loves too) and they both really seem to enjoy the tasks.
We make it fun, play music, have the TV on for some of it and it’s been part of their lives for a while.
They both do some chores for money too although the emphasis is we must all do jobs regardless and pocket money only started before Christmas-the extra things are rewarded financially so every Sunday Oliver gets £1 if he’s done the general chores and then anything additional like helping me cook, sharing his toys with Xander, sleeping in his bed all night (focus changes depending on which areas need work). It’s not just money driven though, if Oliver stays in his bed every night for a week, we get to visit a special museum far from home the following week. Really is working well! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts
Thank you for popping in – I really like your global approach to chores, pocket money and good behaviour. Such a good idea as then I presume there’s no bargaining from them as it isn’t a straight I’ll only do that if you pay me ‘x’…for the older ones anyway? Love the special day too as that’s quality family time so kills two birds with one stone. Fab, thank you x
Mine are only 16 months so I hadn’t thought about it yet. But I am certain by the time they are 5/6 years old I would have had enough of being the live in maid! My partner knows best he knows I refuse to do certain chores so if he wants it done, he needs to do it himself! Hee hee!! xxxx
Hi Kat, thank you for commenting and you must be busier than most of the rest of us 😉 x
My two both tidy their own rooms, one is quite tidy one would live in a mess and not care. But yes I do have to be on their backs. But it is something I won’t back down on, but I do find myself picking up coats and hanging in the correct place and tidying shoes grr x
Hi Sarah, how old are your two? It’s so hard isn’t it?! I can see myself going down the bin liner route when they’re older….I’m just too busy to do so much cleaning up. Do you have pocket money on the go in your house?
Great post – I wasn’t made to do any chores when I was younger & I think that made me lazy (as a teenager/student) as a result. My view now is I’ll make my baby (not yet, she’s only 10 months old!) do chores around the house once she’s old enough, I think its a good life lesson/good for future situations. Totally agree with your theory x
Thank you so much for commenting and that’s so interesting (and honest!), thank you for that. Very good to hear it from your side of the argument as it were and helpful! x
Fab reply, thanks Uju! Do you get your kids to do anything that they don’t get paid for? Also, if you’re paying them, do they then have a choice as to whether or not they do the chores? I’m struggling to know where to draw the line on things they must do anyway and what counts as paid work! We get ours to do recycling, bringing logs in, tidying their stuff away at the end of the day / intermittently if the carpet’s vanished and helping to put the shopping away. Oh and Finn LOVES to vacuum, so we make the most of that!
Great post! Your friend has waited way too long, no wonder she wants to explode! My kids have had some variety of chores going on since they were 3 years old. And in our efforts to get our house in some kind of order, I’ve recently updated a chore list for the 5 year old, 8 year old and also the 18 year old stepson! His dad and I agreed that he should be equipped with basic life skills before skipping the nest, so he’s taking responsibility for cooking once a week among other tasks. The younger ones get pocket money for chores (I gave them a raise in 2015 from 10p to 20p for the little guy and 20p to 30p per chore for the older boy). They have general stuff like clearing up after dinner, putting toys away etc along with more specific stuff like tidying the shoe rack, dusting the TV area, helping take out recycling, helping load laundry etc. Start ’em young and create useful habits for life I say! 🙂