You would think now the kids are 8, 6 and 4 (tomorrow! Gah I need to bake something ‘free-from’ and edible enough to not be embarrassing to take into nursery), getting out of the house in the morning for school would be easier now wouldn’t you?
No.
While the 4 year old is applying himself and his glasses liberally with porridge, the 6 year old is stuck in bed and the 8 year old won’t stop saying ‘Mum can I just quickly sing you my song / show you my hands free cartwheels / have a french plait in my hair today / discuss something terribly important with you?’
The 8 year old is going on 16 and is so lovely and sweet BUT SO chatty. She used to be even more chatty and her voice much higher. It was like having a nightingale constantly twittering away. I do NOT do mornings, which of course is just when she’s in full flow.
Having peeled the 6 year old out of bed (he goes to bed early, he’s just a sleepyhead), he plonks down on the sofa and sulks. Everything is wrong, he doesn’t want any breakfast and in fact he doesn’t even want to LOOK at anyone. Eventually he’ll agree to eat something but it can’t take any less than 37 minutes to eat a bowl of cereal.
Packed lunches assembled, the 8 year old (who’s been completely ready for school for the last ten minutes) is still chatting, the boys are still ‘eating’ and we have 15 minutes until departure.
Me: ‘Right – we have 15 minutes left so please can you finish your breakfast and get ready – uniform, teeth, shoes or you’ll have to go to school in your pjs.’ That works. Temporarily. The next thing I see is the 6 year old standing in the middle of the kitchen with his pyjama bottoms down by his ankles, spinning round in circles in his pants.
‘What are you DOING?’ I ask. He snaps out of his day dream and flops onto the sofa with his school trousers in his hand. And starts reading a book!
‘Right.’ I say. ‘We now have 10 minutes left and I’m not going to mention you having to get ready again, you’ll have to be responsible for that bit.’
He jumps up off the sofa, lands on all fours on the floor and starts doing bunny hops. He catches my eye, leaps up and starts putting his trousers on.
The little one is STILL ‘eating’, isn’t dressed yet and will need a toilet stop before we leave. I start shovelling porridge in.
‘Muuuuuuuuum, can you help?’ I look up and the 6 year old is trapped inside a new polo top. He hasn’t bothered to undo any of the buttons and he’s completely stuck. Again. This happened yesterday. And somehow his trousers are back down by his ankles.
‘Mum can you test me on my 7 times tables? It’s an emergency, I have my test today?’ says the 8 year old 5 minutes before we need to leave.
‘Not now!’ I say exasperated, trying to determine if the 4 year old has had enough to eat. Then I feel guilty. ‘ok, what’s 7×7?’ It doesn’t matter what she says because I don’t hear. I’m now covered in porridge myself and I HATE being sticky.
‘Finished!’ says the 4 year old finally, an hour after starting his breakfast (thank goodness, now I can scrape him clean and get him dressed).
Not so simple – as soon as he’s released from the table he darts off, only to reappear wearing his sister’s bright pink dressing gown and leopard print ballet shoes.
Finally I have him under control, both of us in our coats, him firmly grasped in my left hand and my backpack on.
‘Right, I’m leaving now, is everyone ready?’ I ask looking around hopefully while trying to stop the little one from getting out of his coat.
‘I can’t put my shoes on,’ says the 6 year old, ‘because they have dog poo on.’
***
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Haha this is familiar! I am always shouting at the last minute, we are going in ten minutes and if you’ve still got your pyjamas on then your I’ll age to go to school that way! Thanks for linking up to #sundaystars
It’s good to hear others find it a struggle too ;). Thank you for popping in x
haha this is brilliant! It’s the first time I’ve been over to your blog, Such a funny post and so true. x
Ah thank you so much for popping over! Kids are such funny things aren’t they?!
Oh how I can relate to this!! I hate mornings just because of this. Not that I’ve ever been a morning person.
Apparently we all have our own biorhythm and they can be wildly different to the 24 hour clock as we know it. It can play havoc with our mood, our hormnes, everything. I quite believe it.
What a fantastic ending to this post! AAAHH- mornings! Thanks for linking up #bigfatlinky
Not so fantastic for me ;). It seems that the streets of london aren’t lined with gold after all. They’re lined with dog poo.
haha! Hilarious. I hate mornings too, as do my kids! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts
I’m finding large playdates equally stressful…the kids were great. My mistake was cooking a full roast with a small ‘helping’.
What a crazy morning, I am not a morning person and I can’t imagine what our house is going to be like when we have to start doing the school run!! Chaos!!
I am not a morning person, I don’t cope well with just 1 child, god help me when I have more. I loved this post!! x
Thank you so much for your lovely comment and good to know I’m not the only one! I know it would all be easier if I got up earlier but I write late into the evenings and need my sleep! Emily x
Oh my days… I have all this to come.
I am so blessed to have a boy and a girl however on hindsight, reading this post I can see it being crazy in the mornings… Plaits / girls hair is my worst fear, this has the potential to ruin me… 4 years between them too so will be similar to your oldest and youngest… Thankfully I consider myself to be a morning person however we all know our beautiful children have the ability to “change” us so come a few years time who knows.
Love the post though, so honest and so funny (when its not your own kids)
Jim
No it’s ok Jim – you can just do it like this… Girls Hair Vid. Superb technique don’t you think? Emily x
Hahaha this was soooo funny! Well done you for juggling 3 children and getting yourself out, Got all this to come! #brilliantblogpost x
It’s definitely worse in the winter with all the extra layers. I’m sure other people do it better! Emily x
Ha ha love this! Made me hoot. I can’t get out of the house with one 11 month old. Lord knows what I’ll be like when he’s older and I’ve got more kids. Let’s hope doing the school run in your jamas is de rigour by then 🙂
I really don’t know why any of us ever try to leave at all some times. Small kids really are in a league of their own. Apparently it gets worse as they get older! Emily x
Ohhh you’re supposed to tell me it gets easier as they get older, not harder! This made me laugh (sorry!); great post xx
I wish a could. A friend of mine with older kids has just told me that this is the easy bit…. Gah!!!!
You can’t help but love the testing little ‘Darlings’ can you? I am a morning person and am still glad those head spinning days are behind me. Although I can only imagine how much more fun it is to get three children ready for school in the morning than it is two!
#BrilliantBlogPosts
Hi Debbie, head spinning is exactly the right phrase to describe it! I would struggle just getting myself sorted in the mornings and I think any extra, however many just tips the balance. Thank you for popping by, Emily x
Ha haa this is hilarious! Oh what fun – I have all of this to look forward to. I think I’m only looking forward to the french plaiting!! Well it sounds like you do an awesome job to me – and I’m not a morning person either 🙂 Mim @ http://www.mamamim.com #brilliantblogposts
Hi Mim – I’ll have to get you round to do the french plaiting then. I can only do them on horses! Thanks for your vote of confidence, I don’t but kind of you to say! Thanks for popping in, Emily x
You are so not alone, I hate mornings where we have to get ready and do the school run, I also hate the school run!
Hi Lucy – that’s a very good point and having no rush and no school run is a particularly enjoyable part of half-term! Thank you for popping by. Emily x
Bah ha ha ha! Brilliant post – I only have one, so I am not complaining ever again! #BrilliantBlogPosts
I think it’s just as stressful with one though! Kids are so funny and do the most random stuff JUST when you’re trying to get out of the door. You couldn’t make it up. Thank you so much for popping in, Emily x
Wow! What a morning! I struggle enough with one! Well done you! #brilliantblogposts
Hi Rachel, thank you for popping by – I personally think managing any more than just myself in the mornings is very ‘stretching’, and remember finding one child equally traumatic 😉
Ha ha made me giggles #brilliantblogposts
Hi Jules, you have to laugh at these things! Thank you for popping by, Emily x
Oh I can really relate to your post. I don’t do mornings either! You had me laughing at the end. #Brilliant Blog Posts
Hi Mel, you have to laugh or it’s all too much! Thank you so much for commenting, Emily x
Lolol! This post is so funny! I imagine that during the morning this dosn´t seem funny at alllll…. x
#brilliantblogposts
My half-term is going much the same way. They really are like herding cats. Thanks for popping in to read it! x
Great post, makes my trying to get 2 year old out the house seem very easy in comparison!! #brillblogposts
oh I don’t know – I think 2 year olds are in a league of their own 😉
Oh gawd this sounds just like my house, and I, too, cannot handle the mornings! The 5 year old just launches into conversation and questions with no consideration for whether I’ve had my coffee yet!!
oh no! I used to have to impose the rule of ‘no activities until I’d had a whole cup of coffee’. I kept finding we’d done about 30 things by 9am and I’d been nil by mouth. Lots of beautiful artwork, cupcakes and goodness knows what else had been made but I was SO grumpy!
Haha, what a morning! I am dreading when both of mine are old enough to cause havoc!
Enjoy the calm while you can! Although I’m rather jealous as I don’t think we ever did have any!
oh I know how you feel. I am considering supergluing the babies gloves on as I loose count of how many times he takes them off each morning! #brilliantblogposts
Oh there’s no way I can even contemplate gloves! He’ll only keep them on if he realises it’s cold, so they don’t usually go on until we’re half way down the street. Then we block the pavement and cause all sorts of chaos!
Oh how funny, what a hectic morning! I find I have the husband trying to chivvy us along, which doesn’t help as he doesn’t help he just expects us both to be ready when he is!!
Oooh, mind you, sometimes it’s just easier to get on with it – but without someone putting extra demands on you 😉
This has really made me laugh out loud! What a morning for you! I find the last 10 minutes are manic but I can never grumble at my kids again after reading this! Great post 🙂
Hi Rachel – there just seems so much to DO! Is it the same in your house? The trick is clearly to get up earlier but I just can’t bear to! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment x #brilliantblogposts