The big kids (eight and seven years old) asked me again last week, ‘Mum, when can we have a Special Day?’ A ‘special day’ is when they get to spend a day with me doing whatever they like, at their speed and without either of their siblings. They still remember them and the last one they each had was almost three years ago. I don’t know how I’ve left it for so long, except the weekends tend to be taken up with various commitments such as speech & language therapy sessions for the younger one, swimming lessons, birthday parties and other days out. Suddenly you have almost no time at all to even blow your nose.
This Christmas, each of our gorgeous children will get two vouchers: a Special Day with each parent, without any siblings, which they can cash them in whenever they like. This is our promise to them for the next year. As a minimum.
Our special days came about when our youngest (now four) was younger and was looked after by a very lovely friend and nanny for three days a week. This meant that during the school holidays she could also look after one of the bigger two children, enabling me to take the third one out for some much needed one to one time: ‘a Special Day’.
The kids absolutely LOVED them and there was none of the jostling for attention or getting hyper from geeing each other up. The days were so peaceful and proved to be an incredible bonding time. The kids would decide who would go first between them and if they couldn’t, we’d toss a coin. There was no upset at all. The day ran from 9-4pm ish and was entirely focussed around what they would like to do. We’re so lucky in London as you really can just head out of the door and go with the flow. You don’t need to plan particularly, which is perfect for special days.
They’d each have their favourite things they’d like to do: our daughter LOVES going shopping, stopping for coffees (me) & hot chocs (her) and having lots of chats about anything and everything. She’s not one to sit still, so we might stop for a bit of impromptu tree jumping…
The middle one always asks to go to the cinema. He’s like a bee to a honey pot with a screen and ALWAYS ended up on my lap, which I doubt he’d do now but I so loved the cuddles. Then we’d buy a sandwich or something before going to a park….
I really miss the ‘Mummy Days’ that the youngest and I had before he started school in September and I know we’ll be doing lots of this:
I really can’t rate having a ‘Special Day’ highly enough. Everyone feels good, everyone feels heard, there’s lots of love, lots of contact, lots of calm and lots of understanding. There wasn’t any jealousy at all from the siblings ‘left behind’ because they knew they’d get their Mummy fix too, if they hadn’t already. Do consider trying to build in a special day with your kids if you can.
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