Potty Training A Child Who Has Zero Interest
Our son had just turned 4 years old and was still showing absolutely zero interest in potty training WHATSOEVER. Nor was he showing any signs that he might even be ready! In fact, he mostly just enjoyed throwing his pants down the loo…
I thought if anyone’s having trouble potty training their child, then me writing about our shenanigans will definitely provide a bit of moral support…at least you can say ‘well if her from the International Elf Service can succeed in potty training a child who has zero interest, then I can’.
Well we’ve never had a child with Down Syndrome before and we knew it could take longer than a typical child to ‘master the art’, but we suddenly realised that he was due to start school in 7 months time – so no more sitting on our laurels! So with ‘The Nursery’ all geared up to apply a united front we took the matter into our own hands and followed the advice given to us by everyone who was unfortunate enough to cross our paths. I remembered a friend with a daughter with Down Syndrome had taught her child to be potty trained around 18 months old, so I thought well if she can do it then surely it MUST be possible to train our boy?!
So into pants he went. To our absolute horror, we realised he was weeing every 20-30 minutes!!
Well that threw us. We asked everyone all over again what we should do and word was…we should take him for a wee every 20 minutes.
Er…right. How long do we do this for exactly? Surely this was a sign that he wasn’t ready? We gave it a week and he had so many accidents because he’d decided to wee every 18-19 minutes to catch me and ‘The Nursery’ out. We really weren’t sure want to do.
Around this time we started Sensory Integration Therapy and the advice was:
‘It’s about getting a child familiar with the sensation and putting a meaning and label to it, as well as learning through practise.
For some children they only know they need to go to the toilet when their bladder is really full and then have accidents as they’re not getting enough sensory feedback to tell them that their bladder is filling up.
With alerting sensory input they now can feel their bladder when it is 1/3 or 1/4 full and have to work out what level of feedback means that they need to go to the toilet, before they wet themselves. By the adult taking charge, you start giving them clear pointers and giving them language to understand the sensory input in their bladder and how to respond to it.
Some children have an over sensitive / responsive tactile system, so they can’t fully process when their bladder needs to be emptied. A partially full bladder to them may be experienced as their bladder being really full.’
So we armed ourselves with one of those fabulous ‘potettes’ and pre-empted when he might need a wee or a no. 2. It was exhausting for a month or so but then suddenly he got it!
It wasn’t all plain sailing though. We suddenly had a period of constant relapses and I couldn’t work out why. Then I put on my osteopathy hat on and decided to check him out…his lumbar spine and pelvis weren’t working as well as they could have been. This can in turn affect the ability of the nerves to his bowel and bladder to work as well as they can and so I treated him to get him moving well again. The next day everything returned to normal and he had no accidents until a couple of days ago when he was absolutely dead on his feet after a very early start to the day.
I’m sure there will be more accidents when he’s very tired but the trend is most definitely in the category of ‘potty trained’ and ‘improving all the time’.
So if we can succeed at potty training a child who has zero interest, then I’m convinced others can too. I just wish we’d started sooner.
It goes without saying though that if you’re concerned, or if your child has any symptoms, they should be investigated by a medical professional in case there’s anything that needs medical treatment.
For further information on Sensory Processing Disorder, you might be interested to look through these posts:
Sensory Processing Disorder & Our Boy With Down Syndrome
Sensory Processing Disorder & Sensation Avoidance
Sensory Processing Disorder, Sensation Seeking & Antisocial Behaviour
…and for advice on ‘How To Get The Most Out Of Therapy For Children’, you can read my guest post over on Jump! Parents How to Get The Most Out Of Therapy For Children
Glad to hear you got him trained so quickly in the end. My son is almost 8 and still damp every 1-2 hours. He has no sense of when he needs to go. He’s in pants and we remind him every 1,5 hrs when possible but school are not so good at reminding him so he’s often wet when we collect him. We’ve tried fluid input/output monitoring and nothing abnormal in total amounts, although we know he should drink a bit more. Been speaking to urology team at children’s hospital but no progress made with oxybutinin (day) or desmopressin (nights). Now waiting for OT assessment… I am hoping there is some sort of sensory integration therapy that can help him to learn to feel this sensation.
Hi Caroline, it’s so hard isn’t it?? Have you tried reducing the 1.5 hours down? See how often he’s going without you reminding him (judge by wet pants) and then take him 20 mins or so beforehand. xxx
After reading your potty training blog I decided this easter was my mission to try. My daughter is for and has ds we have tried a few times before with no success and definitely no interested. I had put it off again due to bowel trouble either constipation or very loose with lots of soiling but at the moment we are stable and seem to have meds right. So we went for it and by day 4 she seemed to get it, with lots of reminders. She is already in reception mainstream her own experience to one is fab but I really wanted to lose the nappies before year 1. So Monday after easter she went to school in knickers with a kids training pads to catch the most of any little mishaps. Each day she came home with one accident usually at playtime then last night day 4 at school dry all day 🙂 It’s early days but thanks if I hadn’t read your blog that day I probably would still be waiting for her sign or putting it off. x
Oh Leah that’s so fantastic to hear – very well done to your clever girl! You must be so proud of her and so relieved to be moving on past the nappy stage! Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me and to leave a comment. I really appreciate it and wish you all really well xxx
My daughter who was born with Down Syndrome has recently turned 4 years old and has shown zero interest in potty training. I love your article about potty training and will be trying this technique as well. I will also look into a Sensory Integration Therapy program because I feel she needs help in that area as well.
Thanks
It’s so hard to know whether it’s just a case of waiting but having said that it, it’s much better to move forward out of nappies for social reasons as well as logistical ones. It takes time but it’s so worth persisting! I bet your daughter is absolutely gorgeous 🙂
Another great post from you. James was only potty trained 3 months ago. Which was such a long te compared to so many. But he just ‘got it’ and was suddenly ok with it. Prior to that he has zero interest and that really is difficult. So we’ll done for all of you for conquering it. Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky hope to see you there this week
Ooh just seen my reply never registered Martyn – I’m so sorry! Thank you so much for your comment and yes no interest at all does make it very difficult!
A really helpful post. Thanks for sharing it on #bigfatlinky
Thank you Al and thank you for hosting!
My son is 2.5 and has been showing some signs recently that he’s ready…although we have been trialling the potty and he bloody hates it!! xx #sundaystars
Ooh go for it!!!! Would he prefer a different potty or maybe try a trainer seat on the toilet instead? Or bribery 😉
I’m dreading potty training my little one, its such a scary big step. Well done.
Jemma x
#bigfatlinky
I was dreading it too but once you start you’re ‘in it’ and by default, the dread goes away 🙂 Good luck!