One particular Christmas. I wanted to give my Mum something special. She didn’t need or want anything, so I decided to make her a ‘Memory Book’.
I bought the tiniest of plain notebooks. I sat down and I wrote one thing per page: things I loved about her, things she’d said or done that had made me laugh, things she’d taught me, memories of us, memories of her, things I’d remembered from when I was three…. and I wrote and wrote until I’d filled every page. I called it ‘My Memory Book.’
I wrapped it up lavishly in a piece of golden silk, and tied it with a crimson ribbon. I gave it to her on Christmas day, and for once new that I was giving her something totally priceless.
I watched her face as she unwrapped it. She looked confused and then she started to read it. As she slowly turned the pages, her face crumpled and the tears flowed. Finally she looked up and she said, ‘thank you darling, no-one has ever done this for me before.’
It was a wonderful thing to be able to do: to go through my memories of her while she was still here and to be able to tell her about them. Sitting down and spending the time to think about her in peace, brought up far more memories than would have come up in while we were chatting. I wanted her to know what impact she’d had on my life. You may say ‘well she knows, she’s your mother,’ but we don’t know unless someone tells us do we?
Hearing how much someone loves you is a precious precious gift and it’s no use in a eulogy is it?
If there’s anyone you know who would really enjoy hearing how much of an impact they’ve made on your life, or how much you appreciate them … make one of these. Don’t wait until until they’re terminally ill, or gone.
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You may be interested in reading my thoughts on Talking To Our Kids About Death when they’re very young.
Elfie’s Christmas Letters – Video is the Christmas 2019 Edition
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Try our amazingly unique and magical Family Christmas Tradition of Christmas Letter Bundles from the North Pole. Elf letters filled with secrets and snippets from the North Pole, for you to deliver very mysteriously on the Elves behalf … for your children to find.
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Emily x
I’m so sorry for your loss hun. x
This was an incredibly moving post, you have me in tears. It was a beautiful gift that she clearly loved. xx
#fartglitter
Thank you so much for your lovely kind comments – she really did appreciate it and I was so pleased I’d thought to do it. It could so easily not have occurred to me.
Sorry for your loss, my lovely. Such a beautiful idea. I be she was really moved. You’re right, this would be nice for anyone in any situation. I think I’ve got my own mum’s Christmas present sorted now, thank you! And thanks for linking up to #fartglitter xxx
Thank you so much lovely – I’m sure your Mum will love it x
Oh my gosh, this made me cry. What a wonderful idea. As a mother, I would absolutely cherish a notebook filled with my children’s favorite things about me, or their special memories of time spent with me. Knowing how you made an impact on someone’s life is the BEST gift ever.
Thank you so much Katrina :). I think most of us are totally unaware of how people see us and I really wanted her to know.
Really lovely post and such an important reminder of how precious time is. Sadly it often takes a situation like this to realise it. My Mum died suddenly from Cancer (4 days after diagnosis) and people often tell me how lucky it was that it was so quick so she didn’t suffer, but I, like you did, would have cherished that time. I think I might try your book, its a lovely idea 🙂 #BrilliantBlogPosts
Oh Sarah, I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s never too late for the people we have around us now but often it takes an illness to focus things a bit doesn’t it? x
What a thoughtful gift to give your mum. My husband lost his mother to breast cancer too. So sorry you had to go through this. A lovely blog post and thanks for sharing! Stopping by from #BrilliantBlogPosts
Angela x
Thank you so much and I’m so sorry John went through this too. So many people are cured from breast cancer but alas it was not to be with my Mum. We had some precious times though.
I think this is so perfect. Must’ve been so hard, but a true gift from the heart x
Thank you so much Mel. Yes it really was and it was exactly right for both of us at the time. We both got so much out of it. I have it now and read through it – so it’s still a wonderful healing gift even now.
I am so sorry darling and what a wonderful gift, so thoughtful. This has made me cry xx
Thank you so much Vicki. It was perfect for both of us and I’m so glad the thought popped into my mind. It was a really lovely way to work through the pre-emptive grief. I have the notebook now and sit down with it every now and again.
This made me cry. What a beautiful gift. X
Thank you so much Helena. I felt that all material things just wouldn’t touch the sides but this felt so right.